"Whether a pistol duel was fought with the principals placed a distance apart facing each other and then firing on command or having walked a number of paces having started back to back the first exchange of shots was almost always simultaneous. However there was a school of thought that maintained if you insulted someone or accused them of something and were then willing to accept a challenge to duel rather than apologize you should give the offended party every opportunity to defend his honour even to the point of allowing him first fire and then returning fire yourself if you were able. The gentleman having fired first would be honour bound to stand and accept your shot. This would continue until the offended party declared himself satisfied, both gentlemen were unable to continue, one or both gentlemen had been killed. Ladies of the time understood that their social standing depended on their husbands willingness to defend family and personal honour at all costs. The slightest hint of cowardice, even at the likelihood of certain death was to much too bear. The stigma would extend to the entire family. This can be seen where sons were sometimes encouraged by their mothers or other female members of the family to challenge men who had killed their fathers or other family members in duels."