"The Talking Goat"
by Unknown

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking goat for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the goat is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a goat sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the goat replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The goat looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a goat would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of kids, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the goat.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says," "This goat is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, and so cheap?"
The owner replies, "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff he told you."